WARIF Survivor Stories
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatisation and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organisation set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue holistically, covering health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full-time, six days a week, including public holidays, to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counselling, and welfare services, which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the centre.
Embracing my Journey at 21
My name is Arafat, and I’m a 300-level student studying Architecture at one of Nigeria’s prestigious universities. It all began when my parents acquired a new apartment in a quiet suburb of Lagos state, managed by the estate’s service apartment.
We were filled with excitement as we prepared to move into our new home. The prospect of a fresh start in a different neighbourhood brought a mix of anticipation and nerves. For me, it meant balancing my studies with adjusting to a new environment, while for my family, it meant embracing a new chapter in our lives.
As we settled into the apartment, we quickly realised the intricacies of estate living. From getting acquainted with the neighbours to navigating the services provided by the estate management, each day brought its own set of challenges and discoveries. Despite the initial adjustments, we found ourselves growing fond of our new surroundings, appreciating the peace and community spirit that characterised our suburban enclave. Little did we know that our new home would become the backdrop for unexpected adventures and memorable experiences, shaping our lives in ways we hadn’t anticipated.
A few weeks after our arrival, our water system malfunctioned and urgently needed fixing. I contacted the maintenance officer of the apartment complex, who promptly dispatched a plumber to address the issue. It was mid-morning when the doorbell rang, signalling the plumber’s arrival. I greeted him at the door, a slight feeling of relief washing over me, knowing help had arrived. Upstairs, my mother was preparing for her day, and I was in the kitchen fixing her breakfast before she headed out to work. My elder brother was away on a work trip, and my father was also out of town. I remained at home because my university had just concluded for the semester.
As the plumber worked on the water system, my mother hurried downstairs, already dressed for work. She asked me to pack her breakfast quickly, knowing she was running late. Hastily, I prepared her food, and she gave me a quick hug of gratitude before rushing out the door. Before leaving, she made it clear to the handyman that he could leave once the repairs were completed, trusting that he would finish promptly. Unbeknown to us, this routine repair would soon reveal unexpected twists in our quiet suburban life.
I told the handyman that I was going upstairs and would be back when he was done. Not long after, I heard footsteps and a knock on my door. I asked who it was, and the handyman said he needed my attention. I told him to go downstairs and that I would join him soon. Unknown to me, he did not leave because as I opened the door, he was standing there; I was surprised when he showed me a knife that he was going to kill me if I shouted, that I should cooperate that he was going to have sexual intercourse with me.
I was so scared that I was shaking and nodding to all his instructions while he asked me to go back into my room, remove my clothes and lie down on my bed, and I did. He removed his trousers and pounced on me while he raped me several times until he was satisfied. I was crying in pain throughout the time; it was a painful experience. When he was down raping me, he further threatened me with the knife, and then he left. I was shaken and weak for a while, and then I crawled to the kitchen to get water, so I regained some strength. After taking the water, I coordinated a bit and called my mom, who rushed back from work. She alerted the estate management. They joined us at the police station, where my family reported a case of sexual molestation, and the police went after the perpetrator who had absconded. We were immediately referred to the WARIF Centre for medical assessment, treatment and counselling.
We arrived at the centre, and the medical personnel addressed me professionally; I was accessed medically and given treatments and psycho-social counselling for my mental and psychological well-being. At the counselling session, the counsellor informed me that what happened to me was not my fault but that of the perpetrator. I was hopeless at that time in my healing journey, but the counsellor gave me the courage to live again. I had other counselling sessions, and I also joined the Group therapy session where I developed a sense of belonging with other survivors in a confidential and serene environment. I discovered that I was not alone and that WARIF was there to walk the healing journey with me and the other survivors. All these services at the WARIF Centre are rendered free of charge.
The police, with the help of the estate management, caught the perpetrator and arrested him. The police case charged the case to the court, and I am confident that the court jury will sentence him for crimes committed against me at the next hearing, and this will serve as a deterrent to others.
I was experiencing feelings of shame, fear, moodiness, loss of concentration, appetite, and flashbacks when this first happened, but gradually, with the help of the counselling session and coping mechanisms taught at the counselling sessions, I have overcome those symptoms, and I am doing well academically. I am grateful to my parents, the police force, and especially the WARIF team for their laudable work in the SGBV space.
I have joined the volunteer team of WARIF, and I am now an advocate for GBV. Thanks to the WARIF team!
