Reflections from a First-Time Mum
There’s a common saying that nothing quite prepares a young woman for the manifold experiences of motherhood, a journey replete with joys, struggles, and a depth of emotion that defies simple explanation. This adage suggests that the essence of being a mother is better lived than described.
This week, we had the privilege of having this conversation with Jennifer Ukoh-Osamwonyi, a first-time mother and the Public Relations Manager at Showmax Nigeria.
For Jennifer, the transition to motherhood has been both beautiful and challenging. “I am learning to take each day as it comes. Some days have been easier than others”, she says
Can you describe the moment you first realised you were going to be a mother? How did you feel?
The moment the test strip came out positive, my first thoughts were, “Okay! This is really happening. I am pregnant.” I shared the news with my husband, and together, we celebrated the moment in thanksgiving to God. Following that, I began my numerous baby bump checks and did loads of research.
What were some of the initial challenges you faced in the early days of motherhood?
I believe the challenges I faced were similar to what most women faced, with ‘sleep deprivation’ being on top of that list. I also had a bit of a struggle with breastfeeding in the first 48 hours; my milk production was not a lot, but thankfully, I was surrounded by family and nurses who encouraged me to keep at it till we both found our rhythm. Returning to work was also another challenge, as I had to juggle my 9-5 with the responsibilities of being a mum.
How has becoming a mother changed your perspective on life and your priorities?
Before becoming a mother, I did not fully understand the work, energy, and sacrifice it took (and continues to take) to be one. Now, I pay closer attention to life and the people around me. I am more gracious to other mothers and women in general who are at different stages of their journeys. Becoming a mother has also made me extremely protective and more empathetic. My priorities have also changed. I now have this little human who is dependent on me, and I have to put her first in every decision I make. I basically plan my schedule around her (LOL!).
How do you balance the demands of motherhood with your personal time and self-care?
I don’t think one can fully “balance” the demands of both, as sometimes one will have to give way for the other. It’s more of what one considers a priority per time. When my daughter was a newborn, there was no way I could leave her for a spa appointment because bonding with her in those early moments of her life was my priority. Now, I can do that because she is a little older, and I have a robust support system in place. But I will say this, though – it’s important for mums to create time to refresh and reboot because it takes a lot!
What has been the most surprising aspect of motherhood for you?
The most surprising aspect is definitely how much love fills my heart whenever I hear, smell or see my daughter. It’s surreal! Her every milestone leaves me in awe. I just catch myself watching her closely. I am intrigued by how her mind works. I am already seeing her personality blossom!
What role has your mother played in your journey as a new mom?
My mum has been very much supportive. She has taken off the burden of many tasks from me so that I can focus on my child and pretty much be present in the moment. I also have aunties and my older sister, who have been on hand to help with my numerous asks. A simple “Don’t worry. It gets better” from my sister, who is also a mum, can be very reassuring. I also speak to other new mums, and we’re able to learn from each other. Sometimes, it’s just good to know that you are not alone. It truly takes a village to raise a child.
In what ways do you feel society could better support new mothers?
Society should let mothers breathe! There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood. We are all unique, and our journeys are different. Yes, there are time-tested and trusted methods, but society can support mothers by first being less judgemental. We need to do away with the pressure to “snap back” or to have the next baby. Working mums with young children especially need all the support they can get. The future of work should be one that provides an enabling environment for mothers to thrive. This could be providing in-office childcare or allowing mothers to have some flexibility in the form of closing early or working from home and also supporting fathers with parental/paternal leave so they can care for the baby and support the mother.
What resources or support systems have been invaluable to you as a new mother?
Aside from family, I will say friends and acquaintances on social media. When I recently gave birth, my DM was full of resources, tips, prayers, and words of encouragement from fellow mums and people in general. It was really humbling. A particular friend who was in her second pregnancy at the time was extremely helpful every time I needed to talk about what I was going through and what to expect. I also downloaded and signed up for a number of motherhood apps to stay informed.
Can you discuss any misconceptions you had about motherhood that have been dispelled?
None, really. I was the cool aunty who did not think so much about motherhood. I just knew that when it was time for me to be a mother, I would lean into the Holy Spirit to help me. That’s exactly what I am doing now.
How do you manage the balance between work and motherhood?
I am learning to take each day as it comes. Some days have been easier than others. On days I have to work late or travel, I am grateful for my support system, from my husband to my mother and nanny, who allow me to focus on work without worrying much about her.
Looking back, is there anything you wish you knew before becoming a mother?
I will say I wished I knew how much sleep I would miss in the first year!
Finally, what message would you like to share with other new mothers celebrating their first Mother’s Day?
It’s a blessing, honour and responsibility to be a mother. Cherish it! Enjoy and celebrate every milestone for both you and your baby because time goes by quickly.
