What to Do When You Get Ghosted.
You have just been ghosted; what’s next?
Have you ever sent a message to someone only to be met with silence? No response, no explanation—just a void where communication once flowed freely. I am talking about that dreaded feeling when someone you were excited about suddenly disappears into the abyss of unanswered texts and ignored calls. If yes, then you’ve likely experienced the chilling sensation of being ghosted.
Ghosting, a term that has become all too familiar in modern dating and communication, refers to the act of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone without any explanation or warning. It’s like being left in the dark, wondering what went wrong and why the other person suddenly vanished into thin air.
The experience of being ghosted can evoke a wide range of emotions, from confusion and hurt to anger and self-doubt. It’s a painful reminder of our vulnerability and the uncertainty that comes with forming connections in a digital age where interactions can feel fleeting and disposable.
“It’s like having the rug pulled out from under you,” says Tolu, 28, who recently experienced being ghosted by someone she thought she had a deep connection with. “You’re left questioning everything—what you did wrong, why they suddenly lost interest, and whether it was all just a game to them.”
The psychological impact of ghosting can be profound, often leaving individuals feeling rejected, abandoned, and unworthy of love and validation. It undermines trust and can make it difficult to open up to others in the future, fearing that they too will disappear without a trace.
So, how does one cope with the sting of being ghosted? While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, here are some strategies to help get through the murky waters of ghosting:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt and disappointed when someone ghosts you. Allow yourself to acknowledge and process your emotions rather than bottling them up inside. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking support from a therapist can all be helpful ways to express and work through your feelings.
Don’t Take It Personally: Remember that being ghosted says more about the other person’s inability to communicate effectively than about your worth. Try not to internalise the experience or blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Everyone has their own baggage and reasons for behaving the way they do.
Resist the Urge to Overanalyse: It’s natural to want closure and understand why you were ghosted, but overanalysing every interaction and searching for hidden meanings in every text will only drive you crazy. Instead, accept that you may never know the reason behind the ghosting and focus your energy on moving forward.
Reach Out (But Only Once): If you feel comfortable, it’s okay to reach out to the person who ghosted you to express how their actions made you feel. Keep it simple and straightforward without placing blame or demanding an explanation. Something like, “Hey, I noticed you’ve been distant lately, and I just wanted to check in and make sure everything is okay. If you need space, I understand, but I would appreciate some clarity.” Then, let it go. If they respond, great. If not, it’s time to move on.
Focus on Self-Care: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion during this challenging time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, whether spending time with loved ones, practising self-care rituals, or pursuing hobbies and interests that nourish your soul.
Set Boundaries: If the person who ghosted you tries reappearing in your life, consider whether you want to entertain their presence. It’s important to prioritise your well-being and establish boundaries protecting your emotional health. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.
Learn and Grow: Use the experience of being ghosted as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. What lessons can you take away from this encounter? Are there any patterns or red flags you can identify for future reference? Every setback can be a stepping stone toward personal development and resilience.
