The ‘’Ex’’ Factor – Is Getting Back Together a Good Idea?
That text message from your ex pops up on your phone like a ghost from the past. Suddenly, memories of candlelit dinners, whispered sweet nothings and romantic escapades flood your mind. You’re tempted to take a trip down memory lane, but should you really open that door again?
This situation is hardly unique. At some point, many of us face the “should I or shouldn’t I” dilemma of reuniting with an ex. It’s a plotline as old as time, yet every time, it feels like uncharted territory. Do you sail back to familiar shores or chart a course for new waters? It’s the million-dollar question, but is there a one-size-fits-all answer?
Let’s start with the basics. Rekindling an old flame is tempting. There’s a comfort in the familiar, a safe haven in knowing what to expect. You’ve shared history, inside jokes, and maybe even a Netflix password. It’s like slipping into your favourite pair of old jeans—they may not be the perfect fit anymore, but they feel like home.
But here’s the twist: comfort doesn’t always equate to compatibility. People change and evolve, and sometimes they grow in directions that are no longer parallel. It’s crucial to ask yourself: have you both changed in ways that make you more compatible, or have the same old issues just been gathering dust?
There’s the case of Tonia. Biodun was her “almost”right”—charming, familiar, but with a knack for pushing her buttons like they were going out of style. Their relationship was a rollercoaster of highs and lows, never quite finding a steady rhythm. Now, after months of radio silence, he was back with promises of change.
Change—it’s a powerful word, but it’s not just about swapping bad habits for good ones. It’s about growth, understanding, and, sometimes, the realisation that some patterns are too ingrained to be ironed out. It’s about recognising that the person who was right for you at 18 might not be the right fit at 28, 38, or beyond.
Nostalgia is a tricky thing. It paints our memories with a rose-tinted brush, smoothing out the rough edges and leaving us yearning for a past that was perhaps not as perfect as we remember. Getting back with an ex can sometimes be an attempt to recapture a moment in time—a version of ourselves that no longer exists.
Of course, there are success stories—couples who parted ways only to find their way back to each other with a newfound appreciation and maturity. These stories are heartwarming, but they’re often the exception, not the rule. They require a level of introspection, communication, and commitment that not all are willing or able to muster.
While we are still contemplating, let’s not forget the allure of the unknown and the excitement of new connections. There’s a whole world of potential partners out there, each with their own quirks, stories, and Netflix passwords to share. While the devil you know might seem less daunting than the devil you don’t, sometimes the gamble pays off in ways you never expected.
So, should you get back with your ex? It’s a question only you can answer. It requires a deep dive into the murky waters of your past relationship, an honest assessment of what’s changed and what hasn’t, and perhaps most importantly, a clear-eyed look at what you truly want for your future.
In the end, whether you choose to rekindle an old flame or light a new one, the journey is about growth, self-discovery, and the realisation that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Sometimes, the best way to honour that relationship is by stepping out of your comfort zone, whether that means giving an old love a new chance or bravely venturing into the uncharted territory of the unknown.
The next time you find yourself pondering the ‘ex’ factor, remember this: the heart may want what it wants, but sometimes it’s the head that needs to do the talking.
