Are Situationships the New Relationships?

Ever heard of the word Situationship? It’s a label that represents a relationship status that’s not quite definable, not entirely committal, yet unmistakably significant in its own right. It’s the grey area of modern dating – neither here nor there but undeniably somewhere.

A 2022 study by the dating app Tinder illuminated this phenomenon, revealing that young singles were not only embracing the concept of situationships but also considering it a valid relationship status.

But what exactly defines a situationship? It’s that peculiar state where neither party acknowledges the relationship as such. There are no grand declarations of being in a situationship, no introductions like, “This is my situationship, Tony. Instead, it’s a subtle dance of intimacy and ambiguity. Picture this: You’re seeing someone. You text all day, share inside jokes, and maybe even meet each other’s friends. Yet, there’s no label to what you have. You’re not “together,” but you’re definitely not just friends. It’s a delicate balance that neither resembles a committed relationship nor a casual fling. Welcome to the world of situationships.

One of the defining characteristics of a situationship is the public portrayal of oneself as single despite ongoing interactions with a particular individual. It’s a paradoxical scenario where both parties enjoy the benefits of companionship without the burden of official commitment.

But why are situationships increasingly appealing? For many, it’s the liberation from the pressures of defining a relationship. Some view it as an opportunity to explore other romantic avenues while retaining the freedom of singlehood. Jennifer, 24, describes her situationship experience as follows: “It’s like we’re together when we’re together, and when we’re not, it’s like an unspoken don’t ask, don’t tell policy. It’s liberating yet perplexing at times.” In a situationship, there’s room to breathe, explore, and grow without the binding commitments of a traditional relationship. It offers a taste of companionship minus the weighty expectations. In essence, it’s relationship-lite – the benefits of connection without the heavy labelling.

However, like any relationship stage, situationships come with their own set of challenges. The vagueness inherent in these arrangements can lead to confusion and frustration, especially when one party desires more clarity or commitment. The dreaded “What are we?” question looms overhead, casting a shadow of uncertainty over the otherwise casual affair. “The hardest part,” admits Ayo, 27, “was realising we weren’t on the same page. I wanted more, but she was content with how things were. It was like being stuck in limbo.” This imbalance can transform an easygoing situationship into a tangle of unmet expectations and emotional turmoil.

On the other hand,  some situationships do evolve into full-fledged relationships. Real-life examples abound of couples who transitioned from casual situationships to committed relationships, defying the odds and expectations. Jasmine, a 25-year-old marketing executive, shares her experience: “What started as a casual situationship with Tunde eventually blossomed into a deep, committed relationship. We both entered it with no expectations, but over time, we realised that we wanted more from each other. It took open communication and a willingness to embrace vulnerability, but it was worth it.”

However, this is a transition that should never be assumed or expected. A situationship is its own entity, with its own unspoken rules and uncharted territory. It’s a reminder that relationships, in all their forms, are as diverse as the people in them.

Situationships aren’t for everyone. Navigating the grey area can be daunting for those who find themselves in undefined territory. The key lies in honest communication and self-reflection. If a situationship brings comfort and fulfillment, it’s essential to communicate those feelings with your partner. Conversely, if uncertainty breeds anxiety and dissatisfaction, it’s crucial to voice those concerns and seek clarity.

Understand what you want, respect what the other person wants, find a middle ground, or gracefully walk away if none exists.